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I swear someone hates me!

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Post  Andromeda Amethyst Tue May 28, 2013 3:41 pm

I swear right now someone hates me! My life is quickly spiraling into ruin. I have lost my job. Evil or Very Mad I can't find one after a couple weeks of looking. My husband only had 3 weeks of college left when they canned me (he finally sent in his final project an hour or so ago). My daughter has an ear infection we can not get rid of and now have no insurance to continue taking her to the doctors or getting her medications. I have two mortgage payments to make somehow as well as all the other assundry bills in life. I don't have the insurance to have some medical concerns of my own checked out. My husband is on blood pressure meds that I now can't afford. My ex-stepmom and my father has helped me out all they can but that in the end only amounts to around $100 in cash and some food in our pantry. I really appreciate all the offers of help from my friends and family but they are in most cases in barely better financial condition than we are so really aren't going to be any major help to me. I've been denied my unemployment claim because of the excuses the company used to fire me was misconduct because I couldn't be HAPPY every day of the year and someone would take exception to this. Now I am having to look into cashing in my retirement account to make sure we can pay the bills and keep our house.

The only upsides are that Joe has finally got his last report in and should "officially" have his degree any day now. And my Dad is going to pay for us to take a bit of a vacation camping with them in two weeks. I promised my husband some time after he finished school to take a bit of a breather before he seriously looks for a job. Now he feels he has to start looking for a job right away.

Ok, end of rant. Thanks for "listening". lol
Andromeda Amethyst
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Post  SpiritofApollo Mon Jun 24, 2013 4:06 pm

I really feel for you and I do hope that things look up. I'm getting my I.D so that I can go and get a job. When I'm asked if I have my GED or High School diploma then I'm going to tell them that I'm currently working on getting my GED. It's the truth and it works all the time.
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Post  Andromeda Amethyst Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:49 pm

Thanks.

Actually, my life has started to turn around a bit.  I started a new job yesterday but at a greatly lower payscale than I did have. I found out today that if I get insurance at the family rate I will only be making enough money to pay the mortgages and maybe one utility.  My husband is not having any luck finding a job since he has no experience or networking certification. I guess we are going to have to come up with the $3000 to get at least one of the certifications he wants.  Hopefully Nebraska doesn't pull all of the state aid I was getting just because i got some kind of job.  If that happens I don't know what we will do.

I'm trying to stay hopeful that finding a job for myself is the beginning of my life starting to come back together. I have a lot of thank offerings to give now that at least one prayer has been answered. Now I just have to put my altar back together since I had to take it apart to allow the plumber to get to the water main to fix the valve.
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Post  SpiritofApollo Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:17 am

Andromeda Amethyst wrote:Thanks.

Actually, my life has started to turn around a bit.  I started a new job yesterday but at a greatly lower payscale than I did have. I found out today that if I get insurance at the family rate I will only be making enough money to pay the mortgages and maybe one utility.  My husband is not having any luck finding a job since he has no experience or networking certification. I guess we are going to have to come up with the $3000 to get at least one of the certifications he wants.  Hopefully Nebraska doesn't pull all of the state aid I was getting just because i got some kind of job.  If that happens I don't know what we will do.

I'm trying to stay hopeful that finding a job for myself is the beginning of my life starting to come back together. I have a lot of thank offerings to give now that at least one prayer has been answered. Now I just have to put my altar back together since I had to take it apart to allow the plumber to get to the water main to fix the valve.

Sending you some loving thoughts. Things will get better, it just might not seem so at the time. Personally I was worried when I moved down here until I found all the temp places that was hiring, and I'm going to try my hand at Burger King.
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Post  Linda Wed Jun 26, 2013 6:27 pm

Andromeda, my thoughts are with you as well. When it comes to the health problems, send a special prayer for your daughter's ear and your husbands blood pressure. And do give thanks that you got a new job. The payment might become better later on. The hardships in life are a part of it as well as the bright points, and if there was no hardships we would see no bright points. Then again, I agree there can be too much from time to time.
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Post  Andromeda Amethyst Wed Jun 26, 2013 11:36 pm

I'm finding that whoever helped me obviously has a sense of humor since I (very quickly and easily) got a job with the one competitor that my former employer professes to hate! Laughing

The blood pressure problem for my husband is going to be a constant problem for him for the rest of his life. He actually has heart damage from the stresses of working fast food management for years and living a bad lifestyle when younger.

We're beginning to think that my daughters problems with her ears this year are more because of bad allergies than a continuing infection. Trying to remember to continually give her the nasal spray because her nose isn't stuffy but the rest of her head is. Since she isn't constantly sneezing or sniffling it's hard to remember that her allergies are bothering her.

We'll make it thru, I know. It's just trying to figure out how to deal with things until then is stressing me out. I feel more positive now that I, at least, have a paycheck coming in. I just have to try to give my husband what he needs to get things to a point where he can more easily get a job. It seems the bachelors degree isn't enough for a computer job. Shocked
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Post  Linda Thu Jun 27, 2013 3:13 pm

Another thing, Andromeda, there are diets that might help both against high blood pressure and against allergies. Try for instance to take out foremost red meat, hard, processed fats, bouvine milk products et cetera and use olive oil instead of butter, less spices (save for peppers and garlick) and so on. And cut back on refined sugar, caffeine, tea and alcohol save for a moderate intake of red wine. And add in red vegetables like tomatos and strawberries, beans, nuts (but your allergic daughter might be careful with the nuts) cucumbers, melons, pumpkins.

A complete vegetarian/vegan diet can be hard to manage, especially if you're short on money, but to cut out some of the worst parts can make miracles. Fish and birds can replace the cattle meat for instance. There's a lot to be find on the net when it comes to diets that may help.

Good luck and once again, may the gods be with you!
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Post  Andromeda Amethyst Fri Jun 28, 2013 11:13 pm

Well, we have over the last few years made some changes to our diet. We don't eat near as much pasta as we used to. Because of the price of beef we've had to back on that. Already use olive oil more than butter but still use butter for some vegetables. Don't do too much milk products other than cheese and the ocassional sour cream since my husband is slightly lactose intolerant but loves cheese. We've already cut a lot of the soda's out of our diet which heavily cut down on caffeine as well as sugars. We've never used a lot of salt and I got really salt sensitive once we quit cigarettes and switched to e-cigs. Most of the spice blends we use are either peppercorn based or garlic/onion based. My husband adores some of the spice blends from Planters Seed and Spice Company out of Kansas City, Mo. We already eat a lot of chicken but aren't really fond of fish. We like it every now and then but not every week. And we don't like too many different fish. Can't stand salmon!

My daughters allergies seem to be mostly tree pollens. They usually disappear after the trees stop pollinating.

My husband has already had to give up so many of the foods/drinks he loves because of his med problems, the medications, allergies or to better his diet, I a loath to ask him to give up even more. He can no longer have caffeine, alchohol (in any amount), salt, soy, plums (in any amount), peppers (in any amount), anything made of opium or pennicilin (deadly!), lettuce (in small amounts), bacon, cream, etc., etc., etc. He will still have some of them but in much smaller servings than he would like. It seems like he's even getting sensitive to sugar as he starts having blood pressure spikes if he gets too much. He loves the flavored waters but they have quite a bit of aspertame and he seems to react to too much of that.

We would HATE doing a vegetarian/vegan diet. I am too much of a carnivore to live on rabbit food all the time. I like my vegetables but 1) we are limited in what my husband can eat since he is allergic or sensitive to alot of the leafy type of veggies and 2) I'm of the firm opinion that you need meat proteins to be truely healthy. If that is the road someone chooses to take, that's all well and good but I can't live like that.

Since my husband doesn't react well to the allergy meds either he has taken to using peppermint oil to help clear up his clogged sinuses. It might not work as long as over the county stuff but it at least lets him sleep better at night. We do the best we can to avoid as many of his allergies as possible and eat as well as our tastes will let us. But thanks for the advice.
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Post  Callisto Sat Jun 29, 2013 4:27 pm

You don't have to go completely vegetarian but you can decrease the amount of actual meat you eat with vegetarian and fish dishes and not feel unsatisfied or that you're having to go without. E.g., spaghetti squash as a pasta substitute, and mushrooms (especially portobellos) can make for a really hearty, meaty replacement for ground beef for the sauce. And of course eggs are super versatile.

There are a lot of really wonderful recipes out there now because vegetarians don't want to eat "rabbit food" either! And if you live in an area with a lot of cultural diversity, you can find a lot of international alternatives very easily in ethnic grocery stores and most major supermarkets have an international aisle. E.g., chick peas tossed on a salad are pretty boring, but make them into falafel or hummus and they're really, really tasty and filling. Same with eggplant - another excellent hearty meat substitute you can grill or use to replace meat in recipes. Make one into baba ganoush, serve with some pita wedges - really tasty.  Thai and Vietnamese dishes are really good, they're light and veggie laden yet manage to be really satisfying and flavorful, and much of it isn't any harder to make than any American dish.  Plus if your husband is not allergic to rice, you can use a lot of their noodles and wraps. Indian food too (there's a lot of recipes without pepper or curry). Coconut milk and (the dreaded) tofu work well with seasonings and make for satisfying soups and sauces. And Greek cuisine is a treasure trove of options.

Also, there is a bread substitute you can find in most major supermarkets that's flourless, it's made entirely from sprouted grains. It's called Ezekiel Bread. It tastes really good, it's a dark multi-grain bread and because it's all grain and no flour, it's found in your supermarket freezer section (and you need to keep it in the freezer unless you tend to eat a lot of bread during the week).

You might want to check out Rachael Ray's website, she does a lot of recipes that specifically address making inexpensive and hearty vegetarian and gluten-free meals. She often mentions on her show that she constantly gets requests for dishes that satisfy omnivores and vegetarians alike.

As for fish, there are loads of recipes that don't taste fishy, providing even more options for you.

If you're already incline to cook, then it's just a matter of changing up your habits - swapping out some of your old recipes and "go to" foods for some new ones. It's just that initial period of finding new things to like that you need to get past.
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Post  Andromeda Amethyst Sun Jun 30, 2013 4:32 am

While I appreciate the advice, you would really have to hear the entire list of foods my husband either can't or won't eat to appreciate the problems I go thru trying to change our diet! Rolling Eyes  Can't eat: soy, peppers, plums, cayenne, chili pepper, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, chamomile, powdered cheese flavoring (i.e cheap mac & cheese or cheese flavored chips). I know there's more but I just can't remember them at the moment. Won't eat: turkey, duck, chick peas, eggplant, squash, okra, zucchini, leeks, avacado, rice, salmon, cooked spinach, lima beans, black-eyed peas, homini, walnuts, pine nuts, brazil nuts, cornbread. He's a bit lactose intolerant but he loves cow cheese and hates goat cheese. He's also a bit intolerant to green leafy veggies but will put up with it to get a good salad every few weeks. I've had to switch from vegetable oil for those rare occasions when we want to fry something because it's mostly soy to canola oil. Or extra virgin olive oil for those times we just need a bit of oil in the pan or something to carry the spices on veggies.

We've basically pared it down to green beans, corn, peas, broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, cucumbers, onions, potatoes and tomatoes, pork, chicken, beef and tuna, cheese. We don't eat all that much bread of any type and cut out a lot of the pasts. Gluten doesn't play a big role in our diet except for the gluten-ish stuff they put in some of the processed foods we buy (which is actually rare). Various canned and fresh fruits, depending on how much money we have and the local prices.

I have watch Rachel Ray's show. I've notice that her and Guy Fieri put different kinds of peppers or ginger in just about everything they cook. It isn't easy to modify some of those dishes as they depend a lot on the peppers for the flavor. Fortunately, my husband is actually a really good cook and can usually modify dishes that don't depend on peppers into something he can eat without destroying the flavor. I'm the baker of the house.

Fortunately, we have never been big on salt but really do like garlic (detest garlic salt!). We've discovered the joy of spice blends as long as they don't include peppers or ginger.

It's mostly that I need to convince him to get off his ass and move around more. Not working for 5 years has really gotten him in a bad rut. He wasn't exactly exercise prone before that. Now he doesn't want to leave the house for anything. And I'm not much better! lol
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Post  Callisto Sun Jun 30, 2013 1:01 pm

Well I'm sure you'll sort something out. What I find works well in general when seeking solutions is to focus more on what can be done than what can't be, especially if doing so is a shorter list. And some flexibility never hurt anyone - it's one thing to be unable to eat something and another to be unwilling to experiment with what you can to benefit one's self. I hope you find something that works for you. Smile
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Post  Andromeda Amethyst Wed Jul 03, 2013 12:37 am

I think figuring out how to get control of his allergies that keep him continually stuffed up would help all the other problems. He can't take most of the normal allergy meds but we've discovered that peppermint oil on his forehead helps for a while. I really need to get some major dusting done in the house to help. Hopefully my new job will stop the 11 hour days in the next few weeks and I can convince someone to come help me get it all done without taking days! At least I can always fall back on feeding friends good food in payment for their help! lol
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